Recently, there has been a mass influx of lists of 20-something things for 20-somethings to accomplish before marriage, before turning 25 or 30, before getting a real job, before this, before that. Who knew there was such a timeline on our lives?
I, for one, did not.
In case you don't know what articles I am talking about, here is a small selection I have picked from which you can choose:
23 Things to do Instead of Getting Engaged at 23
A Response To: 23 Things to do Instead of Getting Engaged at 23
25 Things to do Before You Turn 25
30 Things to do Before You Turn 30
I could go on forever with these links, but I'm sure you get the idea.
While I do agree with certain points in all of the articles listed above, I hate the fact that 20-somethings are essentially shaming other 20-somethings because they chose, or have not chosen, to get married at an early age. Haven't the millennials realized that we should stick together and support each other?
I originally completely supported the first link because I, personally, could not imagine being married at 23. I have changed so much in the last few years and I am not sure I could have grown as much as I have if I were married. However, I know some very happily married 23 year olds who I actually believe have wed their soul mates. I backed off the bandwagon of not getting married when I saw this post from a girl who went to my high school:
I think it is time we stop creating lists of things we should be doing before a certain age or milestone and just focus on the lives we are trying to piece together each day. These lists cause us to compare our lives to the lives of others and it's unfair to both parties. Instead, let's put that energy towards happiness, experiences (good and bad), learning lessons, helping others out of the good of our hearts, laughing with friends, traveling, getting married, weaving baskets underwater, and whatever else makes YOU happy.
So, in conclusion, please do ONE thing before you die: be happy.
Try it, and maybe you won't be so concerned about the what everyone else is doing. After all, you can only live one life and it's your own.
I, for one, did not.
In case you don't know what articles I am talking about, here is a small selection I have picked from which you can choose:
23 Things to do Instead of Getting Engaged at 23
A Response To: 23 Things to do Instead of Getting Engaged at 23
25 Things to do Before You Turn 25
30 Things to do Before You Turn 30
I could go on forever with these links, but I'm sure you get the idea.
While I do agree with certain points in all of the articles listed above, I hate the fact that 20-somethings are essentially shaming other 20-somethings because they chose, or have not chosen, to get married at an early age. Haven't the millennials realized that we should stick together and support each other?
I originally completely supported the first link because I, personally, could not imagine being married at 23. I have changed so much in the last few years and I am not sure I could have grown as much as I have if I were married. However, I know some very happily married 23 year olds who I actually believe have wed their soul mates. I backed off the bandwagon of not getting married when I saw this post from a girl who went to my high school:
I'm seeing so many posts supporting the idea that getting married young is the equivalent to missing out on so many other things. While I know getting married young isn't for everyone, I just have to say that marrying Drew last may (i was 23) has led to the most amazing blessings. If I have any kind of wonderful opportunity in my life, it absolutely is made wonderful by the fact that he is beside me and I thank the Lord that because I married him young, that means more years with him. (Erin Turberville)
Reading that status and these articles made me stop and reflect on my life to this point. As a 24 year old, I am happy to admit that I am not quite sure where I'll be in the next 5 years, I don't necessarily loooooooooooove my job, some weeks I live paycheck to paycheck, and sometimes I don't wear underwear because I haven't quite gotten around to doing laundry thanks to Netflix marathons. I am happy in my almost 2 year relationship with my boyfriend, and I am happy that we aren't engaged or rushing to get married. (I am not saying I don't want those things, but I am extremely happy with where we are and I am enjoying just dating him.) I am happy that sometimes there is more beer in the fridge than food, I am happy that I have amazing friends who are accomplishing great things (whether they realize that or not). The most important part of all of that is that I am HAPPY. I think it is time we stop creating lists of things we should be doing before a certain age or milestone and just focus on the lives we are trying to piece together each day. These lists cause us to compare our lives to the lives of others and it's unfair to both parties. Instead, let's put that energy towards happiness, experiences (good and bad), learning lessons, helping others out of the good of our hearts, laughing with friends, traveling, getting married, weaving baskets underwater, and whatever else makes YOU happy.
So, in conclusion, please do ONE thing before you die: be happy.
Try it, and maybe you won't be so concerned about the what everyone else is doing. After all, you can only live one life and it's your own.
