Well, I've officially hit the quarter century mark. I turned 25 on Monday and I still haven't quite figured out how I feel. Saying that I am 25 years old seems so adult, so responsible, so... old. In the weeks leading up to my 25th birthday, I began to panic. I looked around and began comparing myself to others and what they have achieved. Some of my peers have bought houses, gotten married, had babies, have careers and really seem to have it together as far as "life plans" go. Then, I looked at myself. What have do I have to show for my early twenties?? The closer my birthday got, the more I began reflecting on my last few years and I realized, I have lived life completely to its fullest. I'm hoping this review of my last few years might help other "lost" mid twenty-year olds realize that it's okay to feel lost and confused; it's okay to experience heartbreak and feel like a complete disaster; it's okay to live pay check to pay check sometimes/all the time; it's all okay, as long as you are happy.
In my early twenties, I experienced that aforementioned heartbreak. Not just a romantic heartbreak (though I did have my share of that), but my heart broke for many around me. Shortly after I turned 21, my college town of Tuscaloosa was torn to pieces by an incredibly devastating EF4, multi-vortex tornado. Homes were destroyed, lives were lost, and the city was left nearly in shambles. Hearts, homes, spirits and belongings were broken. I have never experienced anything like that, and I honestly hope I never have to again. But, out of heartbreak and devastation grew community and hope. The outpouring of love and assistance nationwide was the most powerful, inspiring and moving things to witness. The city of Tuscaloosa blossomed and people joined together to help rebuild a city that we all love so dearly. As the volunteer coordinator for the University of Alabama Triathlon team, I had the opportunity to truly make a difference in the rebuilding efforts. Being able to help rebuild homes and organize volunteer efforts was extremely challenging, but I will never forget how it felt to work side by side with homeowners as we cleaned up their yards and pieced back together spirits. We were all in it together.
After graduating from the University of Alabama, I picked up and moved to Mobile, AL. I didn't really have a plan, I didn't have any family in the area, and I had only actually been there one time before. I could've easily moved back home with my parents and figured it out from there. But, instead, I put myself in a completely unfamiliar situation and forced myself to grow. For 6 months, I consistently worked two jobs, still trained for triathlons and managed to maintain a healthy relationship (which is still going strong 2.5 years later). I learned a lot about myself and about people in the "real world." I worked myself to the bone a lot of times, but failure was not an option. Sometime during those 6 months, I began to have the "post college panic" and worried that I wasn't getting everything out of life that I wanted. So, I applied for Bike and Build, which was the BEST decision I have ever made.
Three days after turning 23, my application for Bike and Build was accepted and I was officially going to bike across the United States (a goal I had since I was in 5th grade). I then faced the challenge of individually raising $4,500 in a matter of 6 months. While still working 40-60 hours a week, I was able to raise that money through endless fundraising efforts and support from my family and friends. Towards the middle of May 2013, I packed my belongings in a Rubbermaid container, put my bike in the car and headed off the Nags Head, NC. When I arrived, I met 26 other extremely nervous and excited 18-25 year olds, none of whom I had ever met. Through the next 10 weeks, we bonded, we cried, we laughed A LOT, we biked and we built. 14 days of those 10 weeks were spent alongside local Affordable Housing groups building homes. If you look back through my blog, you will find many posts from Bike and Build. I read them often and reminisce about those amazing 70 days.
About 2 months after returning to real life, post Bike and Build Blues hit me hard. After such an incredible experience biking across the country, I was spending my days sitting at a desk, working a job I didn't particularly like. What in the world was I doing? I needed something to keep my heart and mind busy. As a result, I challenged myself to race Ironman New Orleans 70.3. My life turned into long work days, followed by long workouts. I dedicated a huge part of my life to training for this race and things were going pretty well! This all changed on April 4th. I was stepping onto the treadmill to work on some intervals and loosen my legs as the race was 9 days away. It was my mom calling to tell me that they were on their way to Nashville and that my grandfather had passed away suddenly. I immediately left the gym, packed my bags and organized a trip to Nashville with my sister. The next morning at 5 am, I left South Alabama and drove to Birmingham to meet Katherine so that we could continue to trek up the Nashville. We arrived in Nashville to discover my parents and my grandmother trying to clean up the house. We knew my grandmother was having some memory issues and we were working on getting her and my grandfather moved to Memphis so they could be near my parents. But, we discovered upon our arrival that my grandmother now had full blown dementia. As an only child, my mother was struggling with all of this and we only became closer those 6 days we spent in Nashville. Due to the short notice, I did not pack anything for training except for running clothes. Six months of hard training only to be thwarted by 6 days of mourning, no appetite, barely any workouts, and thoughts of withdrawing from the race.
After talking with my coach and my racing buddy, they understood my thoughts about withdrawing but strongly encouraged me to race. After the funeral, my sister and I drove back to Birmingham and I continued my drive to Mobile. Arriving around 11 pm that Thursday evening, I slept for a few hours and went to work Friday morning, came home Friday evening and began to pack for Ironman. Saturday morning, Jordan helped me load the car and we set off for New Orleans. After a week long emotional rollercoaster, I was pretty much a disaster those 24 hours leading up to the race. But, Jordan stood strong by me and did everything he could to help.
Race day was finally here. 5 am alarm, followed by a jittery breakfast. We drove to the race site and Jordan dropped me off so I could get into transition. Low and behold I had forgotten my cycling shoes and sunscreen. Thanks to those around me in transition, I was able to get my shoes and share sunscreen. But, talk about a rough start to the morning! After calming my nerves a bit, my racing buddy, Gina, and I set off to the swim start. The swim went well and I was feeling great coming out of the water and going through transition. But, then the bike portion began... Between dropped chains, flat tires, busted water bottles and extreme wind and heat, I never thought those 56 miles would end. I finally made it back to transition and sat down on the ground and started crying. There was no way I could finish this race. I was already nearly 90 minutes behind my goal times and I felt completely broken. Through my tears, I looked up and saw Jordan standing outside of transition cheering for me and encouraging me to get up. I slowly, but surely, put on my running shoes and started slowly trotting out of transition. As I came out of the shoot, I started crying to Jordan that I couldn't do it. I was almost completely defeated. But, for the entire first mile, Jordan walked/ran alongside me encouraging me and telling me that I could do this. And I did! Crossing that finish line was one of the most emotional and incredible feelings I have, or likely ever will, experience. I will never forget hearing them call my name and Jordan grabbing me up in a bear hug at the end of the race.
After settling into post Ironman life, I began to get antsy again and decided it was time for a change. After 2.5 years of living in Mobile, I quit my job and moved to Orange Beach. I had always wanted to live at the beach and I was beginning to realize how unhappy I was sitting at a desk day in and day out. I couldn't do it anymore. I am now working a job that I thoroughly enjoy, though it's challenging and ever-changing. I love living in Orange Beach and I'm not sure I'll ever move (I say that now, but I'm sure I'll get antsy again). I am preparing to race Ironman New Orleans again in April and gearing up for 2015 triathlon season. Who knows what is to come! Let's see what you have, 25!
While reliving some of these moments, I felt all the emotions again. I felt the sadness of Tuscaloosa, I felt the excitement of Bike and Build, I felt the emotions of missing my grandfather, I felt the happy tears of crossing the finish line. I've definitely experienced some obstacles in the last few years, but I know they are only preparing me for what is to come. Sure, I might feel lost some days. But, one thing remains constant. I love my life and I love the challenges that life brings my way. I am beyond excited to see what this next year holds for me. And I can't wait to bring y'all along for the ride!
