Standing Outside the Fire

Sigh... Here we are, 15 days into 2015 and I can confidently say that I am still procrastinating on my New Years Resolution to stop procrastinating. I was in the middle of composing a 2014 recap post, but got a little distracted with the New Year, work, and other day to day activities. When I continued to log back in over the last two weeks, I couldn't get the words to line up the way I hoped -- I suppose a general case of writers block. Today, I came to realize that my half-written post no longer conveyed what I was really trying to publish.

On this dreary and rainy morning, I, like every other work day, bustled around the house trying to get out the door for my 55 minute commute along Orange Beach roads and the stop-and-go Pensacola traffic. Normally, I listen to Podcasts or music on my phone. However, this morning I didn't feel like going through the hassle of untangling Aux cords, charger cords and whatever else manages to get stuck in the labyrinth.

I was scanning through radio stations of never ending talk shows (I just want music!) and I finally stopped on a country station that was playing a song I had heard a few times. Without me noticing, the station went to commercial and I mentally tuned back in when I heard the beginning of a Perceptions from the United Methodist Church. I'm not particularly religious but I do enjoy the Perceptions because it, as it states, puts things into perspective; reminds me to be thankful and appreciate.

This particular anecdote was about memories. It began by the narrator introducing listeners to a girl and a boy who were popular back in high school - he was a stud football player and she was homecoming queen. The story went on to explain that they were both stuck talking about the past memories and never make new ones. Memories are a blessing as they are carved deep into our minds and hearts. There are good memories and also bad memories, but they all shape our future.

Earlier today when I sat down to finish up the undeveloped 2014 recap article, I realized that I was essentially just harping on past memories. 2014 was quite a roller coaster for me and I can sum it up in a sentence or two. My family became smaller by 2 grandparents, close friends lost loved ones, I completed IM New Orleans 70.3, I  moved from Mobile to Orange Beach, I bought a new car, I got selected to participate in 4k for Cancer over summer of 2015, and I loved harder than I have ever loved. Through experiencing loss and pain, excitement and joy, I had the best people by my side and for that, I could not be more thankful.

Just recently, I began to truly understand how much I love and how deeply I feel things. That love is something I want to carry with me through 2015. Everything I do, I want to do through love and with love. I want to deeply feel every emotion and genuinely experience each day, not just go through day-to-day motions. I don't want to stand outside the fire (and Garth Brooks would be pleased).

This recent self reflection has brought a deeper appreciation for everyone in my life and for everything I set out to accomplish. So, if you are reading this, you are likely one of my family members or close friends who feels obligated to read my musings, and I want you to know that I am thankful for you. You mean the world to me.

Go attack each day and make it your own. Roll with the punches and do everything you can to be happy. Love hard, love deeply, and appreciate each person and day that you are given.

This Garth Brooks song has always been one of my favorites, but it has really hit me particularly hard recently. Isn't it great how music can do that? Take a listen to his lyrics and remember that life is not tried, it is merely survived if you're standing outside the fire.